Why I love the fantasy genre

In "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years", Don Miller describes watching the Tour de France and actually peddling his feet in the air as if he, too, were cycling through the winding hills of the European countryside. I can relate.

I doubt that I would ever pretend to be cycling along with the likes of Lance Armstrong, but I do day dream about a lot of other things. Mostly I think through "perfect" scenarios, things that may or may not actually happen in real life, and the ideal way they would play out. This is part of the reason I'm so terrible about big surprises...I've already thought through the perfect way for a situation to turn out, so reality is often a let down (horrible, I know, and something that's getting better the older I get). I also find myself imagining that I am a character in a story that I love, or that I am involved in another life...usually one where I sing really well. This usually happens in the car where I can belt out tunes with my average-at-best voice, but pretend it's really really good. I've also been known to attempt a Harry Potter spell or two.

I don't use day dreaming to escape my real life, because, quite frankly, my real life is just fine. There are just so many stories out there that could be lived! And why not by me, even if it's just in my head?

So how does all this relate to the fantasy genre in literature? Fantasy stories take us somewhere else. They indulge the feeling that all of us have that we somehow belong somewhere else, that there is more to this world than we currently know, or that we possess untapped powers and we just need someone to show us how to use them. C.S. Lewis describes this feeling as Joy, a longing for something else that we can't explain. And that is fantasy literature. It's the story of the "other" that we are all longing for.

There's more to it than all that, though. In "Mere Christianity", Lewis says, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." I believe that God is the ultimate fulfillment of our longing, that heaven is the other world we are looking for. I also believe that we are born with a longing for a real "other" place so that we will seek after it.

I love fantasy literature because it allows me to indulge that part of me that knows there is more to life than my experience has shown me. I love that it exercises my imagination and opens me up to other levels of creativity. And I love that it points me toward something greater than myself.

When I get to heaven, I know that the longing I feel will be fulfilled. But maybe I'll still get to use the "accio" charm to summon objects. We'll see.

Adventures in Reading: "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller

It is no exaggeration to say that this book changed my life.

"A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" is Donald Miller's latest memoir-esque contribution to my library. What I love about Don (I met him briefly a few years ago, so I feel like I can call him that) is that all of his books are memoirs, but they're all about a different unique facet of his life experience so far. They are also all very conversational, and read just like a real conversation with him feels.

This is the description of the book from the cover jacket:

"Years after writing a best-selling memoir, Donald Miller went into a funk and spent months sleeping in and avoiding his publisher. One story had ended, and he wasn't sure how to start another.

But he gets rescued by two movie producers who want to make a movie based on his memoir. When the start fictionalizing Don's life for film -- changing a meandering memoir into a structured narrative -- the real life Don starts a journey to edit his actual life into a better story. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years details that journey and challenges readers to reconsider what they strive for in life. It shows how to get a second chance at life the first time around."

So there you have it. A basic description. Now I'll tell you some of the things I really learned...

1) The principles that make written stories great are the same principles that make the stories of our lives great. This especially hit home as someone who wants to create great stories on paper. I know what it takes. It almost gives me a sense of obligation to create better stories in my real life.

2) Living a better story is an intentional process. It won't just happen. I have to get off my couch and make it happen.

3) It is silly for me to ask Life what it's meaning is. Instead, Life seems to be asking me what is meaningful. Things can be hard and not go the way I want them to, but does that negate meaning for life in general? That seems like quite a leap. Maybe my life doesn't seem like a big deal, but maybe it's not about me. Maybe, as Don puts it, I am a tree in a story about a forest.

4) Treating things like things and people like people will make those things and those people much more enjoyable. I have to let go of the lie that things and people are going to somehow resolve any issues I have. My rescuer for all things is Jesus, not new clothes or a relationship.

5) The climax of any human story will not actually happen while a person is living. Our lives are made up of many, many stories, but none of them will have the finality and resolve that a story in a book or movie will have. Our stories just about always leave room for a sequel. After one goal is achieved, there will be a new struggle to overcome on the horizon.

Those are just a few things that I picked up reading this book (twice). Reading this book has literally changed the way I view my life. I want to make better stories. I want to risk more to gain more. Miller says that once you start to live better stories, you can't go back to the way things were before. I think I'm at that point: there's no going back now that I know there is a better way.

I would enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone. Miller's writing speaks to our common human experience in a way that is humble, humorous, heart-breaking, and above all, honest. It's probably too late to put this book on your Christmas list, but maybe you'll get a gift card for Borders or something...

I miss dancing...

Hopefully none of these will get taken down any time soon.

Ballet by Nacho Duato

Jeanine Mason and Jason Glover (choreographed by Travis Wall, whom I love)




Kathryn McCormick and Jakob Karr (who I have a big fat crush on)




Ellenore Scott and Jakob Karr



So You Think You Can Dance Season 2 top 6 (sorry for the bad quality, but this song gives me the chills every time...and sometimes tears!)




Clifton Brown of the Alvin Ailey Dance Company (my favorite dancer in my favorite company)

Adventures in Reading: "Interview with the Vampire" by Anne Rice

Sometimes I really miss college.

Mostly, it's when I'm reading a book and I need a professor to explain, a) what the heck is going on, and, b) any literary or cultural allusion/significance.

Suffice it to say, I didn't really understand Louis, the vampire and main character of this story. So I got some help from the internet (thank God for Google...I don't think I would know half the stuff I know if it wasn't for that beautiful search engine. And Wikipedia. Oh sweet sweet Wikipedia...).

What I have deduced is that this is a coming-of-age story, or a bildungsroman, if you prefer (my English degree does!). However, it is the story of Louis' coming-of-age as a vampire, not as a human. He is learning to leave behind his "childish" human morality in exchange for his "adult" vampire immortality. And, essentially, when he accomplishes this, his character ceases to change, which signals the end of his story.

When I think back over the novel with this perspective, it does seem to make more sense. The story itself always made sense. However, I didn't understand Louis' character until I thought about him from this perspective.

There is also a passage where the older vampire, Armand, says that he needs Louis because he exemplifies the modern age. If I had to hazard a guess, based on his literal age, I would say Louis belonged to the Romantic Era. This also makes sense when looking at the internal struggles Louis faces throughout the story, as well as his love of art and his propensity toward sentimentality. Thinking of Louis in this context also makes his character "make more sense" in my mind.

I was initially interested in exploring the vampire genre after reading the Twilight series, and then reading an interview with Stephenie Meyer where she described not adhering to traditional literary vampire motifs. I wondered what the traditional vampire of literature looked like. Based on "Interview with the Vampire", I would say that Meyer's vampires drink blood to live, and find pleasure in it the way a human finds pleasure in eating food. Rice's vampires, on the other hand, drink blood to live and find pleasure in doing so on a much more sensual level. Many critics have even said that it's a sexual pleasure, but Rice herself has said that vampires are no longer sexual beings. It is clear, either way, that Rice's vampires find the kill to be meaningful beyond mere survival. Louis likens killing to understanding the meaning of life.

Another is that Meyer's vampires seem to be eternally human, while Rice's lose their humanity and become eternally detached. The need for and progression toward this detachment is essentially Louis' story.

All this to say, "Interview with the Vampire" is a dark story, with graphic imagery and some intense themes. It is, however, well written and keeps the reader engaged and interested. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for a more traditional vampire story.

Just be sure your blood sugar is up ;)

favorite poem...ever?

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

ee cummings is one of my favorite poets. Ever. His poems are so unique, especially their structure. I love writing them out, because it really make me focus on the way he's written the poem, the way the words and phrases blend together or contrast each other.

And this poem...it just...it feels like it reaches out and grabs onto my soul. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but it's a good description of how it makes me feel. I am inside this poem when I read it, when I think about it. The wonder that keeps the stars apart...that's what this poem makes me feel.

Reading Gone Wrong

I've always thought I wanted to live in a Gothic novel...mostly because I've already enjoyed several fainting spells in my life, and I figure, I might as well be doing it in a setting where it's socially acceptable. Plus, I love pathetic fallacy.

However, I have recently changed my mind, because fainting is, in fact, highly over-rated.

I am about to briefly recount the most embarrassing moment of my life thus far...

Friday afternoon, I was reading "Interview with the Vampire" during my lunch break. During a particularly bloody scene, I started to feel woozy. This didn't really surprise me at all, and I put the book down. Instead of lying down on the couch I was sitting on, I decided to go buy a drink at the coffee shop next to where I was reading (to get my blood sugar up...although I'd just eaten, so this really wasn't the issue). I successfully ordered a drink, but instead of listening to my body and sitting back down immediately, I stood and waited for my order. As soon as it was in my hand, I headed for a chair...

...and woke up flat on my face.

I can laugh about it now, but this whole situation is completely humiliating on a lot of levels. First, a book made me faint. I just feel like that's a really uncool way to go. Most other times I've fainted were medically related, or I at least had a visual. This was all in my head.

Second, of all the places to faint, the crowded coffee shop I go to almost every day was one of the worst, because I'm a regular...and now I'm the regular who fainted.

Third, this is not my first time fainting, and normally I can keep it from happening because I know the signs. However, in the moments preceding my most recent episode, I decided to risk standing up because I didn't want to look silly and sit down on the floor. I guess I thought falling on my face in the middle of the shop would be less embarrassing. One bloody chin and several bruises later, I have decided I was wrong.

I am not a clumsy person. I just seem to do these kinds of things to myself every few months. Maybe I do belong in a Gothic novel...but I most certainly don't want to be in one any more.

Adventures in Reading: "About a Boy" by Nick Hornby

"About a Boy" is one of my favorite movies. I love it. I've seen it at lease a dozen times, and it never fails to entertain me. And the book it's based on didn't disappoint.

This book deals with the complex issues surrounding what it means to grow up, whether you're 12 or 36. There are a lot of really serious story lines (including suicide and bullying), but the story never feels heavy. The characters are honest and entertaining, often without trying. Maybe that's what this book has that many don't: it feels effortless. It's as if the author isn't making any of it up, and this is the true story of several individuals.

The movie and the book differ from each other in several ways. In fact, they have two completely different endings. However, in both the book and movie the characters are able to accomplish the same amount of growth, and in the actual last scene, things to turn out almost exactly the same. I think some credit is due here to the writers of the screenplay, who were able to update the story (a main storyline revolves around Kurt Cobain and his death, which would date the story considerably), without losing its overall effect.

There isn't much to say about this book. It's a straightforward, entertaining coming-of-age story. I would definitely recommend it (and the movie, too)!

Quotes are nice

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars." Oscar Wilde

Disappointed

I opened up Word tonight only to discover...

all the work I did yesterday on my story was gone.

The problem with the Mac magnetic power cord is that when I accidentally pull it out before I've saved something, it ruins my life.

I guess I have some work to do...again. *sigh*

Sir, I exist!

I love this quote, and I just needed to put it somewhere. Maybe you'll like it, too.

A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!'

'However,' replied the universe. 'the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation.'

Stephen Crane

Well crap!

Now that I've made the HUGE decision to reread Donald Miller's book, the library tells me that "About a Boy" by Nick Hornby is ready for me also! *sigh*

I'm going to pick up the Hornby book and make that my primary read, and I'll spend some time with Don in the evenings (I wish!).

What to do!

Here's my dilemma: I've finished my book (and I loved it, by the way, but we'll get to that later).

Oddly enough, I didn't have another book lined up and ready to go for when I finished the Donald Miller book. I finished it this afternoon, and luckily the library sent me a notification that one of the books I put on hold was ready for me. This is where the problem comes in.

I don't think I want to read it!

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". That's the book. The people I know who have read it have said that it's pretty "meh". The Austen parts are great (obviously), but the zombie parts are lacking. I have this natural aversion to pop lit, which I think comes from some of the general snobbery associated with the English programs of most universities. It's something that's probably kept me from reading a lot of bad writing, but I'm sure I've also missed out on things. Would I be missing out on something if I skip this one?

The other factor here is that I would really like to reread the book I just finished (with a pencil in hand). The book has actually changed the way I look at a lot of things, and before I shelve it, I think I want to go back through and pull out the parts that are really meaningful to me.

So, as I've typed this out, I think I've decided what to do: I'm going to let the hold go and reread "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years". I think I really need to explore it one more time while it's all still fresh and relevant, .

Since I'll be reading it again, I may wait to review this book until I've finished it again. Or maybe I'll break up the review into the different ideas in the book. You'll just have to wait and see!

Say what?

I sit down with my cup of coffee at the only free table in the shop. I pick the seat facing the door so I can see you when you come in. Drumming on the side of my cup, I look around. Full. Not conducive to conversation, especially not the kind I see us having. Oh well. It's better than somewhere quiet.

You walk in the door and look around until you spot me. Instead of ordering a drink, you head straight for me. Great. I have no time to think. The chair scrapes along the floor as you pull it out for yourself, and again as you scoot it in. You fold your hands and smile an awkward smile. "So," you say, "what did you need to talk about?"

And I choke. Why can't I ever think of what I want to say when it's time to actually say it? Wait! I know what to do.

I pull a boombox out of my bag and hit play.

Don't you wish life could be like that?! I know I do. There are so many times I wish I could say, "Hold on a second...there's a song that can say what I'm trying to say much better than I can," and then play it. But even if I quote a song in conversation, I'm going to sound pretty silly. *sigh*

Maybe if I start doing it, it will catch on...

The Muse

"The muse honors the working stiff." - Steven Pressfield

...which means I need to get serious.

Yesterday at Tribe, we were discussing what's going on in our lives. Without really thinking, I said that I am writing a novel. I think that's the first time I actually said it out loud. And it sort of motivated me to get my act together and really commit to doing it, because if I'm going to say I'm doing it, I'd better be making some progress on it.

I've heard (more times than I can count) that to be a really good writer, you have to write every day. You have to make it a priority. So that's what I need to do.

I'm going to start small, maybe 30 minutes a day. Obviously, I can do more than that, and probably will on the days that I get into a good groove with it. But I'm also not going to beat myself up over days that it doesn't happen (as long as that's the exception and not the rule). I'm also not going to limit myself to writing my novel. Some days, for whatever reason, I may just need to write in my journal and that's all I'll have time for. But it's something, and it's something I need.

Adventures in Reading: "The Wild Things" by Dave Eggers

"This should be interesting."

That's what I thought when I picked up "The Wild Things" by Dave Eggers. It's a novel based on a movie based on a children's book, written by an author with a really distinct voice and writing style.

"Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak was one of my favorite books as a kid. Rereading it now, I'm not completely sure why, but there was something about it then that I loved. And I'm not the only one.

Several months ago, I read that there was a more adult novel in the works based on what would be the movie "Where the Wild Things Are," and that it would be written by co-screen writer Dave Eggers. This was long before I read "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," so I wasn't especially excited about it based specifically on the author. It was the concept that intrigued me. The original book has only ten sentences. What would a book/movie do to fill in the gaps?

I saw the movie before I read "The Wild Things". I still haven't decided which side of the fence I'm on with it. I don't really think it's a kid's movie. I read in a review somewhere that it's a movie about being a kid, not a movie for kids. I think that describes it really well. It has humor and fantasy, but it deals with a lot of more adult themes as they affect a boy named Max. It's a movie that makes you think, and those aren't always the kind that you leave thinking, "Wow! That was entertaining!"

I had already purchased "The Wild Things" before I saw the movie, because I had been looking forward to it for so long. I was reading other things at the time, so I couldn't get to the book before the movie, although it turned out to not matter all that much. When it came time to actually start reading, though, I was a bit hesitant. For some reason, knowing how the movie portrayed the story made me unsure about the book. I didn't know if I wanted to delve even further into the issues presented in the movie just yet, especially knowing the brutal honesty Eggers comes at his work with. Turns out, I had nothing to fear.

In the acknowledgments at the end of the book, Eggers comments on the differences in his version of the story versus Spike Jonze's screenplay versus Marice Sendak's book, saying that the Max in all three versions of the story was somewhat based on the author of each. This meant that each story had it's own particular set of themes, while still remaining true to the overall story.

I really enjoyed Eggers take on the story. There are still a lot of adult themes dealing with Max's psychology and his personal struggles, but the story doesn't become overwhelmed by them. It deviates from the movie in some places, but never enough to change the overall story. Honestly, I don't think it would have mattered too much if it had. I didn't really think of the movie very often as I read, which I think shows that the book stands on it's own well enough. Eggers presumably could have taken the story in a completely different direction, and probably made an equally good novel, but that wasn't the task he was given.

There is one thing that I would change, both in the movie and in Eggers' novel: In the original book by Sendak, there is no judgment, no moral-to-the-story. Max misbehaves, he is sent to his room, he goes to where the wild things are, he rules as king, and then he comes home. There is no explanation for his behavior or justification of his actions. The movie and novel, however, add back story and issues for Max to deal with. Max goes to the island to deal with things he is faced with in his own reality. I think this is a really genius idea, and I like where both went with it. However, there's a lack of any kind of resolution. What has Max learned? How has he changed? I don't like authors to overtly spell things out for me, but I also need to see some indication of the change in the character for me to know it's taken place. I won't assume it's happened just because it makes sense that it would. It's an author's job to somehow show me that it has occurred. And neither the movie or book did that well enough for me to feel a real sense of completion. In the original book, this is not needed because Max never finds himself in a situation that asks him to change. In the books and movies, he is put in scenarios where he is asked to look at the behaviors of others and how they affect one another. In my opinion, this should cause some sort of change in Max's view of the world, or at least of himself. I wasn't left feeling satisfied that this had happened, for better or for worse.

Also, I'm all for subtlety, but I felt like there was a lack of connection between the issues of the wild things and Max's own problems. Maybe this was intentional, and Max was only supposed to see how it feels to have to try to understand a lot of other people's problems while still dealing with his own. In this particular point, however, I think the book did a better job than the movie of giving some indication of the possible connections.

While those seem like a large complaints, they doesn't take away from the story as a whole in a way that would leave me not recommending "The Wild Things". It's an interesting read, with characters and story lines that are believable, even in their most fantastic incarnations.

Not to brag, but...

Last night was my last writing class for the term. I haven't really mentioned much about the class since it started, but that's not because I haven't been enjoying it or learning from it. Quite the opposite is true, in fact. It's been a great experience. I've been forced to actually spend some time writing (although I procrastinated more than I'd like to admit a lot of the time), and I haven't always been happy with what I've come to class with, but everyone there was very supportive of each other. We encouraged one another and gave good critiques.

Something I was really impressed with was the range of voices in the class. Everyone's story had a distinct voice, and each voice really seemed to come from that specific person. I wouldn't bet my life on it, but I'd be fairly confident pointing out who wrote what just by reading each piece without a name on it. And here's where I stumble over my least favorite part of my writing:

I don't like my literary voice.

I have read so many amazing stories with unique, clear voices, and I get frustrated by my own. It feels boring. It's not quick or witty. I can't seem to manipulate words the way the writers and lyricists I really admire can.

So by now I'm sure you're wondering where the bragging that was alluded to in the title of this post comes in. I'll get to that now...

Last night, as I read my piece, I felt that same familiar dread sitting in the back of my head, wondering why, once again, I had come in with the least interesting writing style out of the entire group. To my serious amazement, the few minutes after I finished reading were filled with nothing but praise for what I'd written (and don't think that's all we do. There was a lot of critiquing in that class!). I was blown away by the compliments I was given about not only what I had written, but how it was written, the writing itself. I got some great suggestions from everyone, and was asked to explain more of the vision I have in mind for the story. This is where the really mind-blowing part comes in: my teacher (who is a published author), and several other people in my class who are either published or in the process of writing with the intent to publish, all suggested that I finish writing the story I have in my head, and send it to publishing companies. I didn't even know what to say (other than thank you, obviously).

Clearly, this was a very encouraging moment for me. I had been thinking that I would toss this project aside when the class was done and start working on another idea I have in mind. But last night has really inspired me to stick with what I've started. That may not mean I'll ever actually look into publishing it, but I feel like I owe it to my class (and myself) to finish this story.

All this to say, apparently I'm working on my first novel!

Oh...and one of the people in my class said that it's clear from my writing that I am very well read. That is one of my favorite compliments I have ever received!

Experiencing music

A stroke of luck found me in a seat at the Lisa Hannigan/David Gray concert last night. Both are artists I like. However, this wasn't a concert that I was dying to see and had been waiting months for. Tickets were expensive, more than I would pay for a lot of artists I am dying to see, but a couple friends and an extremely reduced price on a ticket they were looking to sell were enough to get me to that show. And it was great.

There's just something about live music. Time and time again, bands that I have only moderately liked have blown me away when I've seen them live. Bands that I absolutely love have given me chills and made me want to see them over and over again. Of course, there have been a few let downs. They have been the minority, thankfully, owing to either luck or good personal taste (and since it's my taste in question, we're going to go with that one).

Seeing someone live, seeing them interact with their music, is really quite an honor, if you think about it. They are sharing something they created with you, right there in person. They could forget the lyrics, sing off-key, break a guitar string, dance like an idiot...they are up their on stage, making themselves vulnerable to a crowd. I love watching the way a singer moves with their music (John Mayer's foot stomp, David Gray's chicken legs and head shakes). I love seeing the band interact on stage, both musically and relationally. I love the reinterpretation of a song, the "live" version. I love the way lighting or stage set-up gives songs a visual component. I love singing along with my eyes closed, knowing that people around me are doing the same.

There's also the way that, somehow, live music becomes a part of you. I can turn up my stereo and really get into a song, but hearing it live, actually feeling the notes reverberating through the floor and off the walls and in my blood...it's audiosensory magic.

I won't say that Lisa Hannigan or David Gray are my new favorite artists, but I will say that I love them for the experience we shared last night.

Plus, I met them both, and they're real nice.

Adventures in Reading: "Stardust" by Neil Gaimen

This is the first book I've reviewed on this blog that I have seen the movie version of first. It's also the first repeat author. A post of firsts!

What I'm about to say makes me uncomfortable. The literary student in me cringes slightly, because I am about to say something nearly blasphemous...

I liked the movie better.

Ok...backing up now...

I enjoyed this book. It was engaging, a real adult fairy tale. However, and maybe this is one of the few cases like this, it really felt lacking when compared to the movie. The movie felt much more full, and changes that were made in the movie really did a lot for it's entertainment value (gah, saying this stuff makes me feel like a traitor!).

Here's my real dilemma: I don't know how to accurately portray this book. It was a really quick read. I don't feel like most of the characters were especially dynamic, and though I cared about them and their situations, there was a lack of substance to them that I think could have been fixed by making the story longer and more full. The lack of character definition really surprised me because "American Gods", also by Gaimen, had exceptionally well-developed characters. I wonder if seeing the movie first is the reason I feel this way, or if viewing order is irrelevant. There's no way for me to really know, but I'm curious.

Having said all that, I still want to recommend this book. It held my interest, and the overall story was imaginative and charming. Gaimen has a unique perspective as an author, and that's evident in this story. So if you're looking for a fairly quick read, check this book out.

And after you read the book, watch the movie.

Ikea and proverbs...

...two things the Swedes do well!

"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow."

Adventures in Reading: "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel

If I could only pick one thing about this novel to talk about, it would be VOICE. This book has one of the most distinct and memorable voices that I've ever read. It is unique and genuine, and draws the reader into the story in a very special way. The main character, Pi Patel, tells his story in a way that makes him feel real, like the story is being told by an actual person. It feels like Pi's own beautiful story telling skills, not Martel's, are moving the story along. It's engaging and very well-done.

A quick summary of the story is this: Pi Patel, the son of a zookeeper in India, loves God in all his incarnations. He is a Hindu, a Catholic and a Muslim, because he sees all three as ways to learn how to love God. In his teens, Pi's family decides to move to Canada. They embark on a cargo ship with many of the animals from their zoo, though unfortunately, the ship sinks. Pi manages to get aboard a lifeboat, and the rest of the story is his tale of survival...survival on a lifeboat in the middle of the Pacific alongside a Bengal tiger.

I will admit, there were a couple of times in the middle of Pi's oceanic journey that I felt a bit...not bored, but anxious to get to the next thing. However, I think that only builds on the strength of the novel, because isn't that exactly how a person would feel who's been lost at sea?

The main strength of this novel comes from its storytelling, as I've already mentioned. The story is told from a very personal first person point of view, which draws the reader into Pi's mind as he struggles with not only survival, but his belief in a high power. His humanity fills up every page and causes the reader to really experience Pi's situation.

The end of the novel startled me. Now that I can look at the book as a whole, I see how the ending makes sense. I don't want to give too much about this story away in this review. Instead, I will quote a section from the end of the book that essentially summarizes the novel as a whole:

"So tell me, since it makes no factual difference to you and you can't prove the question either way, which story do you prefer? Which is the better story, the story with the animals or the story without animals?"

Martel is saying that, in Pi's case, religion acts as a metaphor to help him understand and make sense of human existence. In the above quote, Pi is asking whether life is better with or without some sort of religious explanation. While I personally believe that God is more than human invention, Martel has crafted a story that really gets to the heart of this idea, and why it is that people often seek something outside themselves: the tragedy of life must have an answer. There must be meaning. In the very least, this book will make you analyze what it means to be objectively truthful. Basically, "Life of Pi" is a perfect example of the way story can be used to convey ideas and make a reader think.

As with most books or movies that have an unexpected ending, this book may deserve a second reading at some point. I have other stories to begin right now, though, so it will have to wait for now.

**Side note: M. Night Shamalan was slated to make "Life of Pi" into a movie, but ended up bowing out because all of his movies have some sort of twist at the end, and he didn't want to diminish the ending of this book by putting his name on it (because people would assume there was a twist if he's making it, which sort of ruins the element of surprise). Mr. Shamalan, maybe this is a sign that you should branch out a little bit. Just saying.

Too much of a good thing?

I have found the fatal flaw in my library game: sometimes books become available before I'm finished with the ones I already have! I've just barely started "Life of Pi", and now I'm adding "Stardust" by Neil Gaiman to the top of my "to read" list, and pushing the new books I bought further down.

Now, I'm not complaining! It's nice to have so many books to read. But I don't want to feel like I have to rush through a book because I have to get to the next one, either. I hate the feeling of fewer and fewer pages between me and the end of a book I'm really enjoying. I guess I'll just have to console myself with the fact that I have several more endings to get to when I'm finished with this one!

Vocation

The next time someone asks me what I want to "do" with myself, I'm going to point them to this prayer. In the many years that I have kept this close to my heart, I have yet to come across anything that better describes who I want to be.

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born into Eternal Life.

Amen.

Feelin' good!

I just need to say, I am really loving my yoga class! I can feel that my body is getting stronger already, and I'm trying new things that I honestly wouldn't have even tried when I was at my most fit. For example, I did my first full inversion last night (body completely upside down, supported by head/arms). It was against the wall, but that's pretty standard until a person's been doing yoga for a while. I'm really proud of myself for even trying it, and it turned out to be easier than I expected, which I'm sure is because my upper back and arms are getting stronger. Anyway, I just wanted some record of how good I'm feeling, in case I ever need a reminder to keep going.

Meaningless?

"Hear the chimes. Did you know that the wind, when it blows, is older than Rome and our joy and our sorrow?" Conor Oberst

I've been thinking about the "point" of things lately. I realize that a pretty huge concept, and I wont' really attempt to get to the very, very bottom of it in one blog post. But it's something that's come up several times in my learning and reading and thinking lately, so I'll do what I can in a short space, I suppose.

So, back to "Wuthering Heights" we go...

This is how Bronte ends her story: "I lingered round (the graves), under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any could ever imagine unquiet slumber for the sleepers in that quiet earth."

If you've read "Wuthering Heights", you'll know that the lives of all the characters are near constantly filled with turmoil. But when Mr. Lockwood observes the graves of some of the most volatile characters, he can't imagine anything but peace. It's as if their lives, their real lives of suffering and cruelty, never existed. This is especially true when you consider that the final remaining members of both families have found happiness. All of Heathcliff's scheming and torture appears to have been for nothing when you see the happiness that Cathy and Hareton have found in each other.

And that's the truth of it: when we die, that's it. We may have some sort of earthly legacy left behind, but, in the case of most ordinary people, over time even that will fade. Good or bad, when we're done, we're done.

So what's the point in trying to accumulate as much stuff as we can while we're here? Why should I worry about money when I really am provided for? Having stuff is fine. But being unsatisfied with the stuff we do have is where the problems arise. If we looked at things from the perspective of knowing we can't take any of it with us when we die, I think it would change the way we think about what we really need. Having a boat is great, if you have the boat so you can enjoy what it gives you, not so that you can use it as a symbol of your achievement. Enjoying what this world has to offer is a part of learning about and enjoying God. He made the world and said it was good. It's our attitude that corrupts things.

I know there is a point to life. There is meaning, despite the fact that it doesn't last forever. God put me here for a purpose. He put me here to learn and do things that I could only learn and do in my own unique circumstance. They may not be eternally significant things in the eyes of the world, but they are significant in the greater scope of my eternal existence.

I want to read books so I can learn and challenge myself and simply enjoy a good story. I want to travel so I can see the diversity of this amazing world. I want to have relationships with people so I can fully experience this life I've been given. I want to cheer for football teams, cry when I'm hurting, be angry at injustice, laugh at inside jokes, and find comfort in a cup of chai. And I want to do it all with this perspective:

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." Peirre Teilhard de Chardin

So remember that human experience is fleeting. All things shall pass, and most will be little remembered. But also know that human experience is not insignificant, or God would not have designed things as they are.

365 days of reading

Nina Sankovitch has been reading one book every day since October 29, 2008. In just a few days, she will have completed her goal of reading one book per day for a whole year. She has also maintained a blog where she reviews every book she's read, and where you can find out all the other information about her project. She doesn't re-read anything, and only reads one book written by any particular author.

After first discovering this blog, I thought, "I wish I could do that!" The more I though about it, however, the less I thought that was true. Reading an entire book in one day doesn't leave much time for anything else. A person can't work and do this challenge at the same time, that's for sure. There would be little time to do anything but read. On some days, this would be my dream come true. On others, I'd probably rather be out doing other things.

But Nina has four kids, and I'm sure she's made adjustments so that they haven't felt neglected over the past year. I'm also assuming she hasn't completely exiled herself and lost touch with the rest of the world. So, the need to work aside, apparently this is possible without having to give up everything.

I'm thinking that maybe I would like to challenge myself to do something similar, but on a smaller scale. One book a week. One book every ten days. Something that would challenge me, but fit more realistically into my life. Let me finish the book I'm working on now, and then we'll see if I'm up for it.

Damn you, Borders

Last week I received a lovely 40% off coupon from Borders. Normally, these coupons show up when I'm broke (to be read: most of the month), but (un)fortunately I got paid not too long ago, so I took that little coupon into the store last night. With a little spending money in the bank, the temptation of that coupon was just too strong, and I drove straight from church to the bookstore. I wasn't really sure what I would buy, so I wandered around for a bit, which was a great way to end a busy weekend. I really love just being in bookstores/libraries. They make me feel so relaxed and comfortable. During my purusal, I remembered Donald Miller's new book, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years", which I am now the proud owner of! We've had it here at the store, but it was a bit out of my price range as it's a hardcover, and I don't really care for those anyway. So I'd put off buying it, which was hard, because I really wanted it. With the coupon, however, I got it for just over eleven dollars, which I thought was pretty reasonable, and I suppose I'll just have to learn to suffer through the hardcover.

The subtitle ("What I learned while editing my life"), makes me really excited. That concept is so intriguing to me. Combine that with the fact that Miller is one of my favorite modern writers, and I'm already sure this book is going to go on my "recommended" list.

Since I now own this book, however, it's going to have to take a back seat to "Life of Pi" because that one's on loan from the library. After I finished "Wuthering Heights" I grabbed a Harry Potter book to hold me over until I found something else. I got pretty far into it, so I'd rather finish it than just put it back on the shelf. I'm hoping to finish that up quickly, though, cuz I've got literary work to do!

Genre

Our assignment from my writing class last week was to begin creating the story that will become our writing project for the term. It was a fairly basic assignment, but I was having a really hard time with it. I actually put it off for several days after my first attempt because I was feeling so frustrated with it. We were given the character's name and told that they were going to find a message of some kind at Heceta Head lighthouse. All I had to do was determine Jess's sex, age, basic physical features, reason for being at the lighthouse, and what the message was.

Ok...so Jess is a female...probably in her twenties...blond and pretty...lives at the lighthouse...finds an old message somewhere in the lighthouse...and the message says...

I hated where this was going.

So I started over. A lot of the details stayed the same, but Jess was now younger (about 10). And suddenly...

I'm writing a children's fantasy.

That's not really what I expected, and I can already see the challenges I've inherently put in front of myself, but it feels so much more natural than the dramatic adult story I was trying to do something with before.

Our assignment for next week is to work on our character. Characterization is something that I have a hard time with, but I'm ready for the challenge. My class is really supportive, and it's been fun to hear what other people have come up with using the same basic details. I love the imagination!

Ad astra

"non est ad astra mollis e terris via" -- there is no easy way from the earth to the stars (Seneca the Younger)

I have loved the Latin phrase ad astra (to the stars) since I first came across it. I found the above quote which features this phrase this morning, and I really like it. I think what I like most about it is the way an often times unpleasant reality is expressed through such a beautiful phrase.

The idea that good things take work isn't something most people in my generation are really too excited about. But the plain and simple truth is that we are lucky that things don't always come easily. If we could have whatever we wanted at the drop of a hat with no complications, we would never learn a sense of gratitude or apprecation. If relationships never took any effort, we would feel unsatisfied and get bored. If life were always easy, we would never have compassion or motivation to move forward.

From now on, when I want to get from the earth to the stars, I will remember that I can't yet fly, so I'd better get a ladder.

Surprise!

I went to the library over the weekend to find a new book, but everything I wanted was already checked out. I put three books on hold, and can honestly only remember one of them. This morning I got an email telling me that one of my books was available for pick-up, so my next reading adventure will be...*drum roll*...

Life of Pi by Yann Martel!

This book was required reading at Trinity in first year English, but since I transferred in my first year, I didn't have to take the class. Everyone I know who has read it really liked it though, so I've been meaning to get it myself...and now I have!

I think I'm going to put more books on hold at the library from now on. It's fun to have a book waiting for me that I didn't even remember looking at, and it will really cut down on my "what should I read next?" down time between books. Happy reading!

Writing 101

My writing class started last night, and, as I suspected, it was a hodgepodge of mostly older community members who are all "writers". I'm not trying to be condescending. I just mean that they all have different day jobs, but they're all working on novels or screenplays or what have you, and are using the class as a refresher course (like myself) or as a sounding board. And, as I also suspected, some of them are crazy! But they are all very nice, and it's a very encouraging group.

The class itself is exactly what I was hoping it would be! For our first class, we talked about what actually makes a story. We talked about what it takes to turn a scenario into a story, and practiced doing so both verbally and on paper. We also watched some clips from the movie "Benny and Joon" to help illustrate some of the concepts we talked about. At the end of class, our instructor gave us an assignment to work on for the week. We need to work out some of the details of the scenario we were given, and then construct the beginnings of the "inciting incident" that will begin our term-long assignment of writing a more developed story.

Here's what I (re)learned:

- A story has a beginning/middle/end

- A story has conflict

- A story has a main character that changes

- A story's main character must want something

- A story must have an antagonist

- Conflict must be introduced fairly early on

- The author must answer the question "why today?" Why did the story begin when it did? What was the inciting incident or the catalytic character? What is the tension/hook?

- The author must decide what genre the story is

I love that everything is so basic. It's so helpful to get down to the fundamentals because sometimes it's really the simplest things that get forgotten when thinking about the larger scope of a story. We also talked a bit about whether or not an author needs to have an outline for the entire story (with the end in mind) before they begin writing, or if the story can just unfold as one writes. I think a little of both is really the best, but I'm sure every author works differently.

Anyway, I really have no idea what I'm going to do with my assignment yet, but I plan to take some time tomorrow to work on it. I have homework!

Music as it should be

I could watch this performance every day for...ever...and never get over how amazing it is.

so come on...

Thoughts on unfeeling

My Grandad passed away yesterday. I had only seen him a few times in my life, and really didn't know him very well, so I'm not entirely surprised that I don't feel a whole lot of emotion about his death. I'm sad for his wife, and for my dad and aunt, and I suppose I am sad in my own way about it. But I don't feel a lot of the loss that they're feeling.

So it did surprise me when I got in bed last night and couldn't sleep because of what I was feeling. I feel bad for not feeling that loss. I feel guilty for not making more of an effort. I feel bad that I forgot to call him over the weekend. I feel glad that I did have a chance to talk with him a week ago. I feel sorry for his wife, who has cancer and has to start chemotherapy alone now. I feel concerned for his eternal soul. I feel glad that he was comfortable in his last days.

I feel a bit...anxious? Alone? Unsure? Something I can't quite figure out.

And I don't know where all these feelings leave me. I don't want this to have zero effect on my life, but it feels strange to have to construct some sort of "moral" or meaning or outcome. I guess I'll just have to see how the pieces fall.

Corvallis Obituary

Winston-Salem obituary

Cracked Pot

Tonight was my first yoga class! It's Vinyasa yoga, which means it's fairly aerobic (about an hour and a half of constant movement). At one point, our instructor said, "You've made it through the difficult part!" and that's when I knew I could do this...even though I am clearly not as limber or in shape as I have been in the past. The BEST part, though, was the very end. As we cooled down, we went into a pose called Shava-asana, which literally means "corpse pose". Essentially, you just lie on your mat with your feet apart and your arms comfortably away from your body. You just lie there with your eyes closed...like you're a corpse. Our instructor turned off the lights, and after we were comfortable, she began reading us this story:

A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 yrs of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream." I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts, " the pot said. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house!"

At the end of the story, I thought "Thank you, Jesus, for loving a cracked little pot like me."

Making connections

As I was getting ready for bed tonight, I was thinking again about the CS Lewis quote I posted earlier. That's when it occurred to me that the idea Lewis talked about is similar to something we talked about at Dox this week. Unfortunately, my podcast from last week won't load, so I'll have to paraphrase.

The concept discussed went something like this:

Before the world was created, the Trinity lived in perfect union and love. Jesus poured all of Himself out into God and the Spirit. All of Him. He served them both and loved them until He had nothing left. Here's where it gets good: God and the Spirit were also pouring all of Themselves into Him. Two of Them. Into one. By giving all of Himself, Jesus made room for twice as much inside Himself. He doubled his capacity. And He was then able to give that doubled amount away again.

So how does this relate to Lewis' quote about putting first things first? By putting God first, by giving all my love and my trust to Him, He is able to give back to me (at least) twice as much as I had before. Loving God gives me an even greater capacity to love Him...and others. When I truly love God, I will have even more to give to those around me. Maybe this seems like an obvious connection. Obvious or not, it's a connection I'm very interested in thinking more about.

I absolutely love when the things that I'm reading and hearing and talking to people about take on a common theme.

Dear Clive...

Thank you for writing the quote below. Pretty much everything you wrote was great, but this quote is such a good reminder to me right now. So thanks!

Admiringly,
Avery

PS: When you died, was there really a bus waiting to take you to Heaven? I sure hope so.



"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased." - C.S. Lewis

The verdict is in...

I finished "Wuthering Heights" this afternoon, and...I liked it!

I am absolutely positive that I just didn't have the capacity to understand what I was reading when I read it in high school, and I mean that both experientially and maturity-wise. I've had much more practice reading works from a similar time period since then, which made it much easier for me to actually read the book, and I've also just matured as a reader.

Beyond basic comprehension of the words and story, though, I'm still not sure if I "get" it. Heathcliff is determined to ruin the lives of everyone he feels wronged by, and is nearly successful, save for the fact that Hareton and Cathy fall in love in the end. But why? He seems to forget any kindness he was ever shown through his pursuits. He seems so...inhuman (as he's often accused of being throughout the story). Maybe that's the point, though: what would it look like for a person to have no compassion on anyone, to not display the characteristics we deem "human"? Heathcliff is definitely the picture of one seeking revenge for what he views are unforgivable wrongs.

Something I do love about this story is the pathetic fallacy (flexing my English Major muscle there ;) ). Pathetic fallacy is the technique of reflecting the mood of the story through the weather and surroundings of the characters, and it's one of my favorites. Nothing sets the mood like a dark and stormy night, and those are just the kinds of nights that often proceed or determine the events in "Wuthering Heights". The word "wuthering" comes from a colloquial term for decaying, and decay/ruin is a definite theme in the story. Also, the fact that both houses in the story are essentially isolated from the rest of the world out on the English moors really emphasises the isolation and hopelessness that many of the characters feel.

Alright...this is really starting to feel like an essay! Suffice it to say that because I literally just finished this book two hours ago, I've still got some processing to do. Maybe there will be a "Wuthering Heights" review part deux in the future.

The end is the beginning is the end...

I watched the movie "Synecdoche, NY" recently, and besides being a total mind trip, there was a line in it that really stood out to me: the end is built into the beginning.

I believe that. I believe that everything ends, as Death Cab's latest single so gracefully tells me. I was born, and the act of being born inherently presupposes the act of dying at some future date. Sometimes death itself is what ends something. Not all things are ended during the course of someone's life, but death unequivocally signals the end of a thousand beginnings.

I also believe that the reverse is true: beginnings come from endings. And what makes this side of the coin so amazing is that the beginning often times includes struggle. Being born is difficult, but it takes a baby from being, in its basest definition, a parasite, to an autonomous being. When we hurt, when we don't understand, when we are confused...these are uncomfortable, challenging times of struggle. And they make us who we are.

If we choose to just "get through" the hard times, we really cheat ourselves out of learning what they have to teach us. At the end of my life, I hope to look back and say I lived every moment of it. I want to look back and see very few moments that I simply endured because they were uncomfortable. I want to say that I took every lesson presented to me and at least learned something - something about myself, something about God, something about others. And those lessons very often come during the times when we would rather hurt and feel pitied and overcome. Those feelings are valid, and should be acknowledged, but they should not consume us. Life never stops, despite our feelings that the world is over, that it has ended. Our previous world has perhaps ended, but our present world, our new world, is just being born. By learning to embrace that moment of change for what it is, it will be much easier to maintain joy - a sense of peace and contentment that goes beyond the immediate circumstances of life.

In the last month or so, this message of joy that surpasses circumstance has really been hammered into me from all angles. I may never fully understand it, but I will continue to try. I will embrace the endings that are beginnings.

I'm a Student Again! (sort of)

It's official: I have signed up for two classes this Fall! One is a writing class, called What's the Story? Here's a description:

"For both new and seasoned writers. Emmy-award winning TV writer, novelist and teacher, Linda Elin Hamner will help bring clarity to your efforts in creating and developing a compelling fiction piece or screenplay. Examine story sources, target audiences, story arc, theme, characters and more. Join in the creative process with Linda, who is currently at work on her second novel."

Basically, it will be a good review for me. I fully expect to learn new things, but I'm mostly hoping the class will help me shake off some of the rust my writing has accumulated, and give me some new motivation/inspiration with my writing.

The other class is a yoga class that meets twice a week. I've done dance and pilates, but never yoga, so I'm excited!

Now all I have to do is pay...boo!

What's the Point of Reading?

Today at the library, I picked up a copy of Emily Bronte's "Wuthering Heights". I read this book in high school. I use the term "read" loosely because I probably didn't really put a lot of effort into it at the time. The fact is, I hated it. A lot of that feeling probably came from the fact that I didn't understand it at the time, but maybe I just didn't like it.

Since high school, I've often wondered about "Wuthering Heights". It's a classic, right? But why? I can't think of a single person I know who likes it (maybe some do, I'm just not aware of it). But the fact remains that it's required reading for a lot of students, and it holds a firm place in literature. All of this leads me to the question: what is the point of reading?

If the point of reading is to always love what I'm reading, I'm not going to grow much as a person. Yes, there are a lot of books out there written purely for entertainment, and that's fine. Sometimes it's nice to just get lost in a story and not have to do a lot of thinking. But I think that's what defines literature: it makes you think. It doesn't let you be passive. The reader has to question things, and this may lead a person to dislike the answers they come up with, which in turn may lead them to thinking they dislike the book. Granted, there are some books that people just don't like for no other reason than they just don't, and that's fine. I know for myself there are several books I have read and disliked the outcome, but they still made me analyze my own thinking. That makes them worth the read.

Which is what brings me back to "Wuthering Heights". I don't think I was mature enough to understand the point of reading when I originally read this book. So I'll try it again. If I finish it and still don't like it this time around, at least I'll have a more concrete understanding of why that is. And hopefully I'll have done some good thinking along the way.

That Rilke Was Good

More quotes from Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet" that really stuck out to me:

"But please ask yourself whether these large sadnesses haven't rather gone right through you. Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps, somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad."

"How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."

"So you mustn't be frightened, dear Mr. Kappus, if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do. You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you?"

"And your doubt can become a good quality if you train it. It must become knowing, it must become criticism. Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proofs from it, test it, and you will find it perhaps bewildered and embarrassed, perhaps also protesting. But don't give in, insist on arguments, and act in this way, attentive and persistent, every single time, and the day will come when, instead of being a destroyer, it will become one for your best workers - perhaps the most intelligent of all the ones that are building your life."

Adventures in Reading: "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin

READ THIS BOOK!

Honestly, if I could make a you-have-to-read-this-book-before-you-die bundle for everyone I know, this book would be in it. The writing itself isn't anything ground-breaking. It's essentially just story telling. What makes this book so amazing is the story, this true story that is now required reading for top military officials. Greg Mortenson overcame obstacle after obstacle, and his only goal was to help people. His story is so compelling, I literally cried about a half dozen times.

Greg's life proves that one person can make a difference. And it proves that a person of good character with right motives can bridge seemingly impossible gaps, that humans really aren't that different from each other anywhere on earth.

I can't really describe this book in a way that feels adequate to me right now. Suffice it to say that you should read it. Everyone should read it. It's a quick read, but it will have a lasting impression. I am eagerly awaiting the continuation of this story in "Stones into Schools", due out later this year.

Small Update

I've finally started "On Writing Well". The content itself is great, but what I really love is that each chapter is really short! It helps me motivate myself to keep reading.

And I love this quote: "Writing is an intimate transaction between two people, conducted on paper, and it will go well to the extent that it retains its humanity."

That's all for now!

Living the Questions Now

Here's a quote I just came across in Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet" that really stood out to me:

"...have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to love everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers."

This passage really speaks to me right now. I plan to mull it over for a bit.

Sanitized

Conversation between my friend Izzy (3 1/2) and I from earlier this evening, as we prepared to watch his dad get baptized:

Avery: Hey Izzy!

Izzy: Hi Avery! I'm going to watch my dad get sanitized!

Best kid ever.

Oh, Life...

Now that I have essentially decided NOT to take Event Management classes this Fall, the duties of planning my company's annual Holiday Party have been handed over to me. You can bet I had a good laugh about the irony. :)

Adventures in Reading: "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggers

This book is exceptionally genuine. It's hilarious and tragic, completely relatable and totally unique. Eggers' description of his parents' death, and the subsequent events that unfold could come off as just another story about overcoming personal tragedy. But Eggers appears to be more interested in relating to the reader on a real human level. The book is told in a very train-of-thought, stream-of-consciousness style, but it is rarely (if ever) hard to follow.

What makes this book really unique is its lack of moral purpose, by which I mean that Eggers does not relate his story with the intention of saying, "And now, dear reader, the moral of my story is...". This book is the story of being dropped into the middle of a situation and having to continue living in whatever way seems to work. Eggers' admittedly self-aware writing lets the reader in on the process of one man's working out of what life has handed him. His choices are often selfish or immature, but he is honest, and as a reader, one can't help but reserve judgement.

Also, this book is hilarious. You have to read the copyright page, the table of contents, and the acknowledgements. Basically any page with ink on it should be read.

I would reccomend this semi-fictional memoire, with the caution that some of the content is quite heavy. Eggers ability to make the reader laugh throughout the book is excellent, but as I said, some of the actual content is very, well...heartbreaking.

Plans for the Fall

My original plan for this Fall was to take a couple online classes in order to start working toward an Event Management Certificate. After working out the cost of classes and taking a step back to reevaluate things, I have decided that I will be taking a writing class instead. The class will be a workshop format, so I will have a chance to write and have my work critiqued, as well as having the opportunity to learn from others who are hoping to improve their own writing. The class is also in Corvallis, and it will give me the chance to get out into the community, which I am not totally comfortable with. The whole thing will be a pretty big stretch for me, but that's probably a good thing.

I haven't completely given up on the Event Coordinator path, but for the time being, this seems to make more sense. The workshop doesn't start until the end of September, so there's still plenty of time for all these plans to go out the window, but I'm feeling pretty good about them so far.

I'm hoping to also take a yoga class this Fall...you know, become really well-rounded and what not.

Ink On Paper

This week has been a challenge. But I've been writing. Not much, and probably nothing anyone will ever read, but it's still ink on paper. And that's the only place there is to start. We'll see where it takes me.

So Many Books!

My ottoman is currently covered by a stack of books, and I love it! "On Writing Well" has been hanging out there (still unread, unfortunately, but I plan on righting that wrong soon), and it has now been joined by several friends! I finally bought myself a copy of "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson. I have been wanting to read this book for soooo long, and I finally have it! It is the story of a mountaineer who ends up building a school in an impoverished village in Pakistan. After finishing "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" (which I will review soon), I was hoping for something a bit more uplifting in my next book choice, and I believe this book could be just what I'm looking for. 

Last night I had dinner with my aunt and uncle, and my uncle gave me two books my Elmore Leonard to read. I don't really know anything about either book, but he said they're worth a read and they shouldn't take me long, so we'll see how that goes!

And last but not least, I stopped at the library today and picked up three books either by or about Rainer Maria Rilke, the German poet. One is a book of poetry called "The Book of Hours". Another is a collection of letters Rilke wrote to a writing student, and it is called "Letters to a Young Poet". The third book is called "The Poet's Guide to Life: The wisdom of Rilke", and is a collection of writings and philosophies. I have heard a lot about Rilke, and that his writings have inspired many people. Honestly, the titles of all the books are what convinced me to pick them all up. 

I have no idea where I'm going to start with my new collection, but I will let you know how it goes! 

On Writing Well

Before I went on vacation a few weeks ago, I was given a copy of "On Writing Well: The classic guide to writing nonfiction", and I'm very excited to start reading it! I'll let you know how it goes...

Adventures in Reading: "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman

Sorry this review took so long! It took me a while to get through the book itself, plus I went on vacation and just had other things going on. I do wish I had gotten around to this sooner, though, because I feel like I'm forgetting what it was I wanted to say about it. Such is life sometimes.

The concept of this book is really intriguing to me. When Shadow, a recently released convict, takes a job with the mysterious Wednesday, he soon discovers that the physical and spiritual world are really just one place. He is then thrust into the middle of an impending battle between the gods of the past (Odin, Horus, Eostre) and the gods of today (television, internet). Throughout the novel there are also several stories describing how the old gods were brought to America by believers.

What really held my interest in this story was the way the author just drops the reader into the story, and the way the reader, like Shadow, often accept the events of the story as they come without much thought about the utter impossibility of what is occurring. A dog speaks, Shadow responds, and it isn't until later that either Shadow or the reader seems to take notice of the strangeness of the situation.

Over all, I really enjoyed this book. There were times when I stopped reading so I could go look up the history of one god or another, and there were times when I just plowed through, knowing that the author would provide me with what I needed to know. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for an engaging read, who also doesn't mind a lot of graphic imagery and language. None of the violence or language felt gratuitous, but it was still prevalent throughout the story.

Saving fish from drowning

I love this quote:

A pious man explained to his followers: “It is evil to take lives and noble to save them. Each day I pledge to save a hundred lives. I drop my net in the lake and scoop out a hundred fishes. I place the fishes on the bank, where they flop and twirl. “Don’t be scared.” I tell those fishes. “I am saving you from drowning.” Soon enough, the fishes grow calm and lie still. Yet, sad to say, I am always too late. The fishes expire. And because it is evil to waste anything, I take those dead fishes to market and I sell them for a good price. With the money I receive, I buy more nets so I can save more fishes.

Anonymous

I ♥ ...Amazon.com?

So I did end up buying the newly released Harry Potter complete paperback boxed set, but I got it from Amazon.com. The discount was more than my employee discount, and I got free shipping. As much as I enjoy working at a non-profit, I also sometimes love the free market.

I ♥ My Employee Discount

I just saw today that we've FINALLY got paperback boxed sets of Harry Potter! These retail at eighty-something dollars (which is a deal compared to the $200 hardback version!). After my employee discount, the set is going to put me back around $60. I love working at a bookstore :)

Adventures in Reading: "Into Thin Air" by Jon Krakauer

Matt suggested this one to me. The book is a detailed version of the events of the 1996 Mt. Everest disaster in which 12 people were killed, as remembered by Jon Krakauer, a mountaineer and journalist on the trip.

This book is fascinating. Krakauer prefaces the story by saying that he's writing as a kind of therapy. He is attempting to make sense of what will surely be the most terrifying and tragic event of his life. Krakauer writes about himself and others in a really honest way, something he's taken heat for since the book's release. Human error is mainly to blame for the accident, and no one person is completely at fault. His refusal to gloss over mistakes, even those made by himself, is what gives this book it's depth and believability, as well as its controversy. Krakauer's telling has a great pace that keeps the reader interested, and gives enough detail about mountaineering to ensure even someone with zero climbing experience understands what he is talking about. In fact, he is extremely detail oriented throughout, which is an necessary trait for someone wanting to tell a story of this magnitude.

I would reccomend this book to anyone who is looking to read a compelling story. Some details of the story are fairly graphic, and the focus is on a very tragic event, so bear that in mind. It isn't a difficult read in the sense that Krakauer's writing is smooth and engaging. What is difficult is making sense out of such a tragic event.

Adventures in Reading: "The Dante Club" by Matthew Pearl

I just finished "The Dante Club" by Matthew Pearl. I work at a bookstore, and when we have copies of books that don't sell, employees usually get first dibs. I was going through a stack of this kind when I found "The Dante Club". I'm not sure what it was about it that caught my eye, but I read the back cover and it sounded interesting: a group of (real, non-fictional) poets in post-Civil War Boston attempt to solve a string of murders that copy punishments found in Dante's "Inferno". Now, that doesn't really fall under the category of something I would normally read. I like a good mystery, but I don't like graphic blood-and-guts type stuff. I also had never given much thought to historical fiction genre. But the literary aspect of the story caught my attention. The author uses actual non-fictional characters like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Oliver Wendell Holmes as his main characters, and the story centers around Dante's classic work on several levels.

The book isn't terribly long, and it's a quick read. The characters and the action keep you interested, and it's not too gory (at least it wasn't for me, and I'm pretty squeamish). Basically, it's an interesting story set at a good pace. The reader isn't bogged down by details of scenery or by long dialogue. The author jumps from character to character, keeping the reader interested and wanting to know more. I would definitely recommend this book to just about anyone!

my love/hate relationship with Stephenie Meyer

I am not a huge "Twilight" fan. I was pretty set against having anything to do with the series, until one day I was in need of a new book. In a brief and temporary moment of insanity, I decided to read "Twilight". I assumed it would be bad, but I was prepared to be wrong. I hoped I was wrong.

*sigh*

I think "Twilight" is HORRIBLY written. Based on reading all four of the books in this series, I have come to the conclusion that when asked to write an essay, Mrs. Meyer was likely never desperately looking for more information in order to come up with the minimum word count. There were times when I thought I could probably skip ahead a page or two and not miss a thing. I also don't particularly care for her writing style. It's very juvenile, and while I'll concede that the books were written for a young adult audience, and it is told from the point of view of a young girl, it's the writing itself that seems immature. It did get better as the series progressed, but I was still left with the feeling that the books were written by someone who hadn't quite gotten control over her writing style yet. Her repetition of words and her sometimes strange sentence structure were often enough to cause me to sigh out loud.

However, if the stories weren't at least mildly captivating, I would have stopped after the first one. I decided to keep reading with a "it can't get worse" sort of mentality. And there is something to be said for her characterization and attention to detail. As a reader, I did care about the characters on some level. They were generally believable, sometimes falling flat or becoming predictable, but never so much so that I lost complete interest.

All this to say, I am fantastically jealous of Stephenie Meyer. According to Meyer, one night she dreamed about a vampire that fell in love with a mortal, and BAM! Three months later "Twilight" was finished. And people LOVE it. Now, I'm not saying that I want to write so that I can have a cult-like following of crazies, but I do want people to connect with what I write. And Meyer has that. She just has it from a demographic who apparently feel the need to express themselves through squealing and fits of hysteria! (Note: I know several sane, non-crazies who also loved these books) So here's what I'm really jealous of: Meyer had an idea flash before her eyes, and she knew she had to run with it. And apparently it poured out of her, based on the fact that she finished so quickly.

Maybe it's the immature writer in me, but that's what I want. I want to be smacked on the side of the head by an idea that I have to get on paper. I don't particularly want to spend hours doing writing exercises. But maybe that's what I need. Maybe in order to avoid all the things that I dislike about Meyer's writing, I need to put in the hours before I have my big epiphany. Better get started...

focus

I've decided to take this blog in a new direction. I think turning the focus of what I write on here toward actual writing will be a really positive encouragement to me. I will probably continue to write some random this-is-what's-going-on-in-my-life posts as a way to unscramble my thoughts, but for the most part I want to focus on writing and reading. I want to discuss the books I'm reading; my own process in writing; music, movies and other things that inspire me; and other topics of that nature.

Hopefully later today I'll have my first post of this kind up, so uhh...stay tuned!

give it the old college try

Matt keeps telling me to write a book. In all honesty, I would love to do that. I think one of the first things I was ever conscious of wanting to "be when I grow up" as a kid was an author. That title too: author. Not a writer, an author. Someone who makes literature, art with story. Matt thinks that is funny/endearing, and proof that it's a desire I was born with. I believe him, too. I believe there is something inside of me that needs to come out. That's what I love so much about dancing (lyrical or modern). It's one of the best ways I've ever been able to express whatever it is that's trying to get it's way out of me. I really love writing, too, but it takes so much more effort for me compared to dance. I can dance to a song, having no choreography in mind at all, and feel like I actually accomplished some sort of expression.

Writing is harder. I keep telling Matt that I don't have anything to write about. I only partially believe that when I say it, though. I know I am a born story teller. I think if you spend any amount of time with me, you'll agree. I just have absolutely no idea where to start when it comes to actually writing down a story. All I know is that when I hear certain songs, see certain performances or art, or, heck, even when I'm just staring at books in the library or at a book store, I feel something. Something I can't exactly describe. Something that makes me feel...human. And feels like it needs to be expressed somehow. I need to get past my self-consciousness and make some sort of plan to at least try. I can't keep waiting for inspiration to just fall out of the sky and hit me like a meteor.

Sometimes trying is the best a person can do. It's probably about time I find out where that lands me.

that's just plain bad luck

From now on, any time I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to reread this:

http://www.cracked.com/article_17416_7-most-bizarrely-unlucky-people-who-ever-lived.html

Oh boy!

bienvenue

I think it's pretty standard to have one's first blog post be some sort of justification for writing it. I think most people, subconsciously or otherwise, feel bad for blogging, at least initially. I think it's a totally natural human characteristic to want to share stories and feelings, and to have those stories and feelings be validated in some way. I don't know where the sense that we don't deserve some sort of validation comes in, but it's there for most people. We're embarrassed to admit that we want people to understand us or that we have something to say.

So, I won't apologize for starting a blog. Instead, I'll give a few reasons why I did start it, because I think that's a good jumping off point.

- Over the past month or two, several things have happened in my life that I wanted to have some record of. I've gotten more involved at church, I was a juror on a week-long rape trial, and I seriously sprained my ankle. All of these events (plus others) have all made me think and feel a lot of things. I couldn't seem to motivate myself to actually hand-write most of the stuff, but since I spend MOST of my work day in front a computer, this seemed like a logical way of recording things.

- I enjoy writing, but I have been absolutely terrible about doing it over the last few years. I'm hoping this will motivate me to do more.

- I like the idea of having people I know dialogue with me about my life, and this seems like an interesting way to do that. I may never get any "followers", but maybe I'll get a post or two once in a while. Could be interesting.

Anyway...there's a short list for ya. Something in the way of a real post will hopefully follow shortly.