Take a sad song and make it better...

Life is good. That's sort of a profound statement, if you really think about it. Is life actually good? Being alive, the gift of life, certainly is good. But circumstances in life aren't always good. I think the earthquake in Haiti last week is a glaring example of how unfair and hopeless life can be. And despite the fact that (thankfully) my life has never seen anything akin to that kind of despair, there have been times when I would say that life was anything but good, at least for a certain span of time.

So I will not say that my life is good. But I will say that I am content with life, and hope that I can always remain content despite my circumstances. Being content with life does not negate the negative feelings that come with pain or loss or injustice, however. It doesn't mean that I won't struggle to remain content in the hard times.

Now, how does this relate to my writing?

Well...I have discovered that when I am at ease with life, when my life is free from conflict, I write less.

A few months ago, circumstances were such that I was dealing with a lot of hurt and confusion. And I wrote. Boy, did I write! I couldn't go a day without it. I wrote about what I was going through, but I also wrote creatively a lot, too. Thankfully, my writing class also started shortly after the initial onset of this sudden outpouring of ink, so I had a place to channel some of the ideas that were swirling around in my head. Over time, as the raw emotion of the situation dissipated, so did my writing. Having classes and a project I'm working on has kept me writing fairly consistently, but my daily cathartic or creative writing unrelated to anything specific has become nearly nonexistent. And it makes me a bit sad. Is conflict my muse?

I highly doubt it. But I'm beginning to think that when I let my guard down and really feel whatever emotion it is that I'm feeling, I'm more able to just let go and write. When I'm more comfortable with life, I still feel emotions, but apparently not the kind that compel me to sit down and write. And they aren't the kind that more or less overshadow everything else. So it would seem that when my emotions are in a valley, my writing is on a mountain top, and vice versa.

I can look back and see how this has always been true in my life. I'm good at taking a sad song and making it better (thanks, J. Lennon). I just never really saw the pattern. Now that I have some awareness of this fact, though, I need to decide what to do with it. Clearly, I can't wait for the next conflict or season of discomfort in my life to write. Writing can help me get through those things still, of course, but if I'm serious about writing, I need to figure out a way to motivate myself to write, even when I don't want to. Maybe making myself a daily writing journal would be helpful. Maybe if I set realistic weekly goals for my writing. Maybe I need some sort of accountability partner. What I know for sure is that I need to actually make a decision about a way to improve in this area. Maybes and shoulds and plans that aren't really plans just aren't going to cut it.

If you have any suggestions, let me know. Otherwise, I'm giving myself until Friday to come up with a more definitive plan, which I will post on here. There...one goal set, and a little bit of accountability to boot. I'm off to a good start!